Overcoming Sex After Childbirth Fears

Timely resumption to sex after childbirth is generally recognized as booster to a young father’s faithfulness to his wife. On the opposite, cheating statistics have continually shown that good husbands are tempted most, and sometimes cheat on their wives, after childbirth.

Just because there are medical, biological and psychological issues that hinder the new mother from normal sexual relations doesn’t mean that the man has no such needs.

Sex for the woman at this critical time may be uncomfortable, inconvenient and painful. Not so for the man who wants sex as soon as he can get it. If a man is used to regular sex, the pressure would build up and should be managed until the woman is ready.

Experts advise a minimum of 42 days (six weeks) before resumption of sex for women who had normal delivery. This is standard time for some measure of recovery and precautions which helps:

•         Incisions to heal

•         Prevent infections

•          Uterus (womb) and cervix to return to their normal sizes.

Even after this time, the doctor’s examination of the woman will indicate how and when the couple will resume sexual relations.

Aside from the doctor’s counsel, most women are shy to resume sex after childbirth because of other concerns over their bodies like:

•          Exhaustion due to hectic days and sleepless nights attending to baby

•          No real desire for sex (as sex hormones take a dive and remain down)

•          Not sure whether sex will hurt

Important Considerations For Sex After Childbirth

Sex with your husband, particularly at this time, need not be at the same level or intensity as formerly. Even so, sex does not have to be only penile penetration. The couple should understand each other’s apprehension and work to reduce tension and stress as much as possible.

 Many young fathers feel left out upon the arrival of the bundle of joy; the attention is usually on mother and child. But the man is part of this team!

• Discuss your apprehensions and expectations with your husband. Let him understand that it is normal for your sex desire to drop at this time.

• Talk about sex and allow your husband to touch you cautiously. Though you may not feel like it but these touching help to initiate the buildup of sex hormones for normal resumption of love making.

• Schedule time for you and your husband to relate and perhaps play some game. This may seem very difficult considering the time demand of your baby but it is an all important step to reintegrate your husband. A few minutes every other day will do.

• As soon as you feel like sex, or you think it’s doable, initiate it… all the time. Your husband may be circumspect about your body and feelings (or just shy of asking!), so don’t leave it to him to make the first move.

• If your baby watches while you and your husband are at it, it’s okay. Babies are no threats to loving parents! The only reason you could pause is to attend to her, if she needs you.

Resumption of sex after childbirth is a sweet way of reassuring the father of his place in the growing family and stop his thoughts from roaming.