I did not know my husband was not happy with out marriage. He started telling me he wanted less time with me so he could miss me. But then the days got longer and more consecutive. I waited for him to miss me but he never did.
I thought he was just stressed with work. I could tell he wasn't happy and I began to pray in worry for him. But I didn't realize that there was more going on.
His parents have lots of evil history: divorced, cheaters, alcoholics, they were emotionally and verbally abusive to him and his siblings, and I'm sure more I don't know.
My husband neglected me for a month and half then never coming home till after 4am suddenly he came home. I thought this was a light in such a dark time. But he came to tell me that it was my fault our marriage was failing and that I needed to fix it. If I didn't he would leave me.
After he left to go to work early I checked his Facebook chat and he was talking to another woman. Devastated and bawled and smashed all our wedding photos in pain. My best friend came and got me and I stayed at a friends house for a month waiting for him to apologize or find me, or just try and save our marriage. But he was only angry, not remorseful and in denial of having an affair.
Last week he informed me he was moving out of the house "for now" that it was too painful for him to be there alone.
So I moved back in.
My brother inlaw supports my husband, he's into porn and has cheated on my sister. He helped point out lies to my husband about me and encouraged my husband's mind and heart against me. I regret encouraging them to hang out. I had a vision that my husband would lead him to Christ...I never saw this coming.
My sister is no innocent here either. She also has a part to play. My history is her always stealing my friends when we were younger and then turning their backs on me. I learned not to let my friends hang out with her and my closest friends so not. The worst part is my husband knew this and he still chose to be with them.
The three of them conversed in negative conversations about me. At first I believe my husband was defending me and his goal was to be a bridge in our relationship. Instead, he joined them. Turned his heart and mind against me and looked elsewhere. He discovered he wasn't happy with me (which is a lie) and decided to look elsewhere.
I believe he no longer believes he has the strength to be a Christian. I believe he believes he is a failure and can not walk a Christian walk no matter how hard he tries. He was trying in his own strength (I recognize that now) and not on the lords strength.
I'm devastated. My worst nightmare has come true. It's the "perfect storm".
I just want to see my husband one more time: not the monster he's turned into but the REAL him. The one I married or even better - maybe the one God truly desires him to be. Like the Samson story.
I always said to him his spiritual gift was strength. I know he's fallen but he could be stronger again like Samson.
Please: can you pray for my husband? Against these demons that latched on and stole him? The worm tongue and lies he believes? The generational demons too?
My strength is weak. I'm praying but I'm exhausted. I can't eat or sleep. The only thing that is any sense of peace are godly friends and worship music.